What Can I Control?

Life and death?

The thoughts in my mind?

The emotions in my heart?

Who I love?

If I get sick?

When I fall asleep?

When I wake up?

Who dies next?

Who’s born next?

What I dream?

 

I thought I was in control

When life went well I took credit for it

When life was painful I felt guilty, or resentful

How silly, if I created my life

I created the lives of everyone around me

I realized I was not in control, I was terrified

I felt untethered, in free fall, cut loose,

the world did not revolve around me

I was not the creator

 

What is going on here?

What am I?

All is in constant motion and change

And I am not in control of any of it

Yet I am aware of all of it

 

What is aware of it all?

It is not the mind,

The mind is seen by me

It is not the emotions

I know about those as well

What about this body

It is aging and dying

And I see this also

 

There is something unchanging

Something immovable

Something in which awareness itself resides

All this appears within this boundless field

 

I must be this, there is nothing that sees this,

All is known within this, yet can’t know this

When I rest as this there is deep peace,

Aliveness beyond all knowing

Love fills the universe

 

All of creation comes from this

As this mind, heart and body fall open

To this boundless wonder

I know this is what I am

I am nothing and everything comes from Me

Lissa comes from this, is made is this, is this